Stay at home mum

So we had a busy weekend with a couple of first birthday parties to attend which was a whole new experience to me. The boys only lasted about an hour at each one, which I thought was pretty good, and seemed to have a really good time playing with other little kids and playing with different toys.

I chatted with some of my friends at one of the parties from mothers group who have or are about to return to work. As much as I respect everyone’s right to choose whether they stay at home or go back to work I found it really interesting as to the reason why they were going back to work. These mothers told me that although they can afford to stay home as their husbands earn enough to cover their expenses they want the extra money so that they can continue to live their pre-baby lifestyle.

We always wanted children, even before we were engaged we discussed it constantly. Before I was even pregnant we were buying baby items, which turned out to be a real lifesaver once I found out we were having twins!! So we had a plan that I would stay home with the kids. We both had mums who stayed home when we were little and although I don’t remember alot of when I was very young I know that the best things were mum walking us to school and going home to a parent who was there.

Our boys are only a year old and they have reached so many milestones but there are still so many more that I don’t want to miss! I want to be the one who sees their first steps, who hears their first words, who gets to cuddle up with them and have pyjama days. I don’t want to miss any of this!

And I guess I don’t understand these mums who want to continue this lifestyle even though their lives have completely changed. I understand those who have no choice but to go back to work because they need the money to pay bills and survive, and we were in that position at one point. I went back to work for a few months when things were bad on the job front for my husband. It was tough! I worked while my husband stayed home and when he had a job my mother in law came to help. I know it was the right decision and it was also the right decision to formally resign when I did. I don’t regret any of that. But I was lucky – I didn’t miss any special moments and I only had to do it for a very short period of time.

Yesterday I was asked why I don’t just go back to work because my husbands job is not stable and we are doing it so tough. My answer is simple – it’s not worth it. We have twins who would need to go into daycare. Although there are rebates for daycare, the costs are still high and the job that I would be going back to wouldn’t bring in enough money per hour to make it worth what I would be giving up. And the reality is I do not want to put them into daycare. I know plenty of people do and thats fine but I really don’t want to. Thats another person raising my children. And that’s just not me.

Yes we do it extremely tough some weeks and money is constantly on my mind but I would rather cut back on everything and be at home with my kids. Each to their own and I respect my friends choices, I just wish that they would respect mine.


2 thoughts on “Stay at home mum

  1. As a stay at home mother, I really think this is such a precious time to spend with your children. Enjoy it, because this will be precious memories both you and your children can look back on. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, you need to do what is right for your own family. Well done for choosing to stay at home, even if it means you need to sacrifice some things.

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