So it’s been a busy week. I feel very very tired but I haven’t stopped moving and I’m honestly not sure when I will get a chance to stop. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster as we’ve had a mixture of things happen that have honestly rocked me a little.
With all that has happened it has reinforced how important my kids are and that I am on the right path, despite the endless judgement I get from family, friends and strangers. I often wonder why we have become a society that judges each other for our decisions. I’m the first to admit that I make judgements too and anyone who says they don’t is a liar. We all judge, either out loud or in our own heads, it’s a part of life and I understand that. I just think we may be going a step too far. As a mum, who doesn’t work, it’s really hard to constantly be judged over my choices. Some days it breaks my heart and I have had to teach myself to toughen up. I admit I still cry on occassion!
So I have been trying to look after myself, my husband and my kids a bit more this week. It helps me to keep busy but I have been finding that I am not falling asleep as easily as I usually do. Before kids I had alot of trouble sleeping, I found it hard to stop the thoughts going on in my head. But once the boys were born and sleep became rare I think my body just became used to when I’m in bed it’s time for sleep. With the added stress this week I have noticed myself awake for a lot longer and my mind racing. I’m really not happy about this to be honest! I don’t want to get back into bad sleeping habits.
Having suffered from depression in the past I know how important it is to step in before you find yourself in that deep dark place. Theres a number of things I have learnt over the years that I have been putting into practice this week to look after myself that little bit more – keeping busy, going for walks, talking about it, catching up with friends/family, and flowers. And I can honestly say it does help. Although we can’t afford to be buying flowers I know the affect it can have on my mood and think that a $8-$12 bunch from coles is well worth it. I bought this bunch when the buds were still closed and they are now looking stunning. Going up to them and smelling them is a joy.