I haven’t been writing like I normally do, simply because I have not had the time, energy or really know what to write. Monday was a horrible day for me, and I honestly just wanted to crawl into bed and cry. I questioned my life decisions and felt that I was a bad mum. I’m sure we’ve all had that kind of day. Thankfully Tuesday, yesterday, was a wonderful family day. It was a simple day with my husband and gorgeous twin boys just out and about. It reminded me of just how happy I am, how much I love them all (even when they drive me crazy) and how lucky I am.
Life is all about perspectives. Some people view my life as hard and at times awful, and lately I’ve been listening to it a bit too much and buying into what they have been saying. Yes having twin toddlers can be extremely challenging, but its also so rewarding! Watching them play, hearing them laugh and being there when they discover something new is wonderful!!! Not having a stable income and living on a budget is also hard, but it’s not impossible. We still manage to go out and have a coffee and I still get to treat the boys to a trip to the local play centre or a new toy. We may not be able to afford fancy dinners and expensive holidays but we do manage.
Being a stay at home mum is a choice I made. I became a mum because I wanted to spend time with my children and help them learn and grow. I choose to stay home most nights, put my kids to bed and then relax on the couch. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I know parents who have had their kids and been out drinking again with their friends within the week. That’s a choice they make, but that is not me. My kids are my responsibility and I take that very seriously. I take time out when I need it, which isn’t very often and the boys have no problem with being looked after by family. I’m not the person I used to be, I’ve grown up. I may not fit in like I used to but I’m ok with that.
Yesterday reminded me that I’m ok with where I am at and that I need to drown out the voices of others, because their perspective of my life is not my perspective.