The reality of having twins – being individuals

twins - individuals

Parenting twins really can be a hard task, because not only are you teaching your children but you also need to educate your family, friends and even strangers along the way. I don’t know what it is but people seem to think that just because they are twins that they aren’t individuals. The biggest mistake you can ever make is not to treat a twin as an individual!

My twins are both boys, which is actually quite wonderful, but just because they are both boys does not in any way mean that they both like the same things. And this is true for identical twins as well. Twins do not always like the same things! Identical twins are not identical in every single way, they will have their own likes and dislikes and I’m sure their own little quirks too.

Yes twins do tend to have a lot in common. I’m not going to get into the nature vs. nurture debate, but honestly they were in the womb together, were born together and are brought up together in the same environment so yes they do have a lot in common and will develop some of the same interests.

Both my boys like cars, trucks and megabloks. They both enjoy reading but one will sit and read a book a lot more often than the other. They both love outside and our dogs but one will constantly ask to go outside, the other won’t care. One will sit and watch the world go by, while the other is too busy tearing around the world like a maniac. They are twins, they do like some of the same things but they are still very much individuals.

Which honestly can be hard to manage. You want to have quiet time with one and the other will want in on it, which can then cause a meltdown for either one or both twins. They will want different things but both at the same time. It’s difficult but you learn to do it all. You teach taking turns and hopefully patience (I’m not sure we have learned patience yet) and as they get older they will hopefully have a better grasp of it all. They need to know that they are individuals, and as a parent of twins I need to encourage them to be individuals. If they don’t want to play the same sports or musical instruments or whatever, you know what that’s fine (it’ll be much more work but if they were all born as singletons you wouldn’t force them to do what their older sibling did so why should twins?).

You can read more on my reality of twins series here!

1st Birthday!!

So the boys first birthday has come and gone. And I’m a little sad. My boys are 1 – where has the year gone? I swear days drag and drag, particularly lately, but a year has already past and my little babies have grown into little men. I want my year back!!

The morning of their birthday was so stressful. My husbands parents came over early to help but my husband underestimated how long it would take to put this swing set together so I got no help doing everything that needed to be done. I got snapped at alot and had no choice but to just try and get on with all that needed to be done. Thankfully by the time guests started to arrive we were prepared for the first party (a small party with just a few friends their age so they could all play together) and my parents in law cleaned up outside for us in preperation for our second bigger party. The babies all played together really well and I got to sit and chat with my mummy friends which was really nice. All the hubbies met finally which was great and I am planning to organise some more bbqs where we can have a couple of people over and the boys can chat, the kids can play and the mums can swap stories!

The second party started after the first had ended and the timing worked out really well. We had our families and our friends arriving over a couple of hours which worked out really well as I was able to spend a bit of time with everyone and the kids got passed around. It was really a lovely day and although I did pick up my camera a few times I spent the majoritiy of my time chatting, so instead of feeling stressed all day I managed to relax and just enjoy which was great. We had a number of slightly older kids (2-4 year olds) come who had a ball playing with the boys toys and outside on the new swing set. It was so nice to see kids running around playing, and my boys love other kids so watching them run around made my two laugh and laugh.

After most of the guests left the boys opened a couple of presents but it was all a bit much for them. So when everyone had left it was a quick shower (they were filthy from playing outside) and off to bed. Yesterday morning we had the fun of opening the mountain of presents they received. They boys were so spoilt!! And I felt so blessed that we have so many people that care about them and were so generous. They got a few toys (they don’t need any more after what they got for christmas!!), some lovely clothes, books (which we never say no to, I love getting books!), a table and chairs and lots of other bits and pieces. I was suprised that we actually only got a couple of things that we already have.

So all in all the boys had a great birthday. It was simple and casual but it was fun. I know that mums get really competitive with parties and presents but honestly we can’t afford much (I made alot of the decorations myself and got balloons off ebay) and I’m going to try very hard not to get caught up in all that in the future. So for now it is back to normal life and enjoying my gorgeous boys. I will be seeing my inlaws later today so I will post some photos over the next few days 🙂