The reality of having twins – being individuals

twins - individuals

Parenting twins really can be a hard task, because not only are you teaching your children but you also need to educate your family, friends and even strangers along the way. I don’t know what it is but people seem to think that just because they are twins that they aren’t individuals. The biggest mistake you can ever make is not to treat a twin as an individual!

My twins are both boys, which is actually quite wonderful, but just because they are both boys does not in any way mean that they both like the same things. And this is true for identical twins as well. Twins do not always like the same things! Identical twins are not identical in every single way, they will have their own likes and dislikes and I’m sure their own little quirks too.

Yes twins do tend to have a lot in common. I’m not going to get into the nature vs. nurture debate, but honestly they were in the womb together, were born together and are brought up together in the same environment so yes they do have a lot in common and will develop some of the same interests.

Both my boys like cars, trucks and megabloks. They both enjoy reading but one will sit and read a book a lot more often than the other. They both love outside and our dogs but one will constantly ask to go outside, the other won’t care. One will sit and watch the world go by, while the other is too busy tearing around the world like a maniac. They are twins, they do like some of the same things but they are still very much individuals.

Which honestly can be hard to manage. You want to have quiet time with one and the other will want in on it, which can then cause a meltdown for either one or both twins. They will want different things but both at the same time. It’s difficult but you learn to do it all. You teach taking turns and hopefully patience (I’m not sure we have learned patience yet) and as they get older they will hopefully have a better grasp of it all. They need to know that they are individuals, and as a parent of twins I need to encourage them to be individuals. If they don’t want to play the same sports or musical instruments or whatever, you know what that’s fine (it’ll be much more work but if they were all born as singletons you wouldn’t force them to do what their older sibling did so why should twins?).

You can read more on my reality of twins series here!

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